We are finally getting a Little E in our alphabet (Abigail, Brooklyn, Clarissa, & Dan). We have waited patiently (most of the time) and waded through personal trials trying to get a baby to stick. :) It has been a long and hard road.
I don’t think pregnancies are really ever going to be a breeze for me, but this one just weighed so heavy on me emotionally and sometimes still does. I truly cried every day due to being sick and to the frustration of wondering if we would miscarry again. There were signs and there were lots of prayers. Thankfully the prayers won out this time around. It has only been the past two weeks that I finally allowed myself to think that a spirit of God would finally be joining our family in November. Honestly, I haven’t felt really excited yet though. I still have hesitations but I guess there’s nothing much I can do for them now :)
We found out March 12th.
Taken March 20th at 5 weeks-
In April we were able to see our little one and the flutter of it’s heart. I was so emotional going into this appointment. Dan had never been to an ultrasound appointment either so it was a first for him – For Abi, work was three hours from the Dr.’s office and for Brooklyn, he was living in New York at the time for work. So I was just grateful he could be there for this.
The first thing I was looking for was the baby in the first place. With my last miscarriage, there wasn’t a baby, so this was important. The baby’s heart was fluttering and that was neat, but we were told the baby was really small for the week I was and so we left with more hesitations. Didn’t smooth over my emotions much.
I think this photo was at ten weeks. I was sick from week 5 on and it peaked around 10-14 weeks. We were pretty miserable around here. Everything made me sick – food, naps, lying down, moving around.
This is how we told my family we were expecting at 15 weeks-
I started just barely showing around 15 weeks. That was a first for me and also one of my hesitations after hearing about the baby being small. With the girls, I couldn’t fit in my pants at week 5 so here I am now at week 20 and just barely having to use an elastic for my button is a huge deal.
At 16 weeks I really popped. It was a week I was terribly ill and thankfully the last week I was sick. Guess I just needed to go out with a bang on the sickness thing.
Two weeks later at 16 weeks, I was definitely pregnant and couldn’t really hide it anymore, but still at 20 weeks have people hesitant to ask. I have chosen this time to really embrace my bump. I have tried wearing clothes that show it and I have tried not wearing big clothing. With Brooklyn, I was in a really tough place mentally and emotionally and I wore sweats every day. I feel so much healthier now and so much happier even with our trials on this pregnancy. I don’t know if this will be our last baby or not, so I am really trying to embrace the changes – I am not perfect at that. I struggle at least one time a day with my softening and growing bumps. Pregnancy is not easy for me because of the changes my body goes through. I hate post partum recovery too but am trying to keep in mind that I have done it three times now and will conquer it again.
This was my first time wearing a maternity shirt at 18 weeks. I still don’t fit into most of the ones I wore with the girls. I am so much smaller – I’ll take it too.
And this was the last photo I took of my belly a week and a half ago at almost 19 weeks – more on this great feat soon!
Over the past week, Dan has finally been able to feel the baby move. I always look forward to that moment. It brings a different light to his eyes and means the world to me. He is thrilled and has just been my rock through this physically and emotionally draining time. I couldn’t be more in love with him than right now… until tomorrow when I am.
We find out what we are having this week! That may or may not change our whole world full of glitter and gloss right now.
Due between November 15th – 21st.
